Thursday, July 22, 2010

Baby Steps

It will be 5 years in December since I last held my son Gavin in my arms.  I have been able to talk to him a handful of times on Skype.  It has been an uphill battle every single day since I left on the plane with my youngest son.  I truly believed that the affidavit signed at the U.S. Consulate in Amsterdam was my security blanket.  It was not.  The Hague Convention does not do a thing after the first year of the abduction. My children's father... aka "the husband creature" had the resources to move in between 3 countries to ensure that I would not be able to pursue this legal action.

I have tried everything in my power to reason with him.  People get divorced every day and share custody.  There is a tiny glimmer of hope today.  It is a very long story, and I try not to become too hopeful, but this cannot last forever.  I would do anything possible to reunite my children.  As of yesterday, my ex informed me of their whereabouts.  That alone brings an overwhelming feeling of peace.  There are no words to express the grief we endure every single day.  As my son that is with me is happy, healthy, thriving, doing well in school, and has a social calendar that is difficult to maintain, I do not know for certain who my other son is anymore.  It is heart wrenching.  The only thing that I know is for sure is that through all of this, he knows that "mama loves him the most."  A strange thing to say of course.  But every chance we get to see him, my youngest son and I challenge each other to who loves "Boogie" the most.  That is when I see the light in his eyes return, as well as his smile.  When I hear him laugh... sorry... a pause to regroup - that is the greatest gift a mother can receive from this distance.

God bless the children who didn't have a choice to lose a mother, father, and siblings.  Let them all come home and be truly happy.  Custody should be shared, not dictated. 

Thanks for listening.


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