Friday, January 16, 2009

still no communication from Europe

I have done my best to be reasonable with my estranged husband; his girlfriend, and his family. There are volumes of emails that I have sent requesting that we make fair and final arrangements to dissolve our marriage; and make plans for custody. I have asked them all to be willing participants to bring our boys together. This is the third year of hell for my children and for myself. How my son in Europe must feel thinking that his mother made the choice to return to the U.S. without him because "I had to work." This is a lie. Everything I hear from afar is a lie. Nothing has changed to give the children a sense of normalcy. My son in Europe has moved from the Netherlands, to Portugal, back to the Netherlands, again to Portugal. The last I have heard is that they are in Belgium; but they do not give me an accurate address, a name of his school, or any updates about his well-being.

Their father has stated that in the court of law he wouldn't stand a chance retaining his parental rights. I have asked him to be fair, and allow the children to reside with me throughout the school year and in exchange, he would be allowed to have them over summer vacation. This is how adult parents should handle these matters when a marriage falls apart. I wouldn't want my children to resent me in the future for keeping them away from their father. He has been given every opportunity to be an active participant and partner in raising the children together, but separately. I struggle every day trying to see why he chooses to bury his head in the sand? There are few hours in a day to devote my time to this cause. I spend my days spinning my wheels on black ice and focus on what is right in front of me. My son that is with me is thriving at school, with his friends, and with our family. I want to spend my days making up the lost time with my son that has had his innocence stolen from selfish grown ups.

There has been no word from Europe since before Christmas of 2008. I have a package of gifts that I want to send my son, but it is uncertain whether they reside in the Netherlands or in Belgium? My search for answers is fruitless. I need help. I need legal help. I need financial help. There is no other way to end this nightmare. There must be someone out there that can end this sadness once and for all.

I hope to find the person or people that can help me make this happen.

Thank you for listening.

H

2 comments:

indybarb said...

This is such a sad, sad situation for you and for your boys. I am so sorry for what you are going through and I will help in any way I can. Just keep sharing your story with the world, believe that things will work out, and someday soon you and your little family will be back together! Hugs to you my beautiful and wonderufl sister : )

Heather said...

Thanks Sister - a thank you nearly a year later. Not surprising in trying to make things right for the boys that there is still zero cooperation from the European end of things.